So here I sit...in my latest culinary class. This one is taught by Chef Amaury Guichon- he’s 27 years old and already world-renowned. Meanwhile at age 45 (45!!!), my only accomplishments are that I can apply liquid eyeliner and do a decent job deep-throating a sizeable penis. I have wine in my cellar that’s older... Continue Reading →

So I met with Rick today. We agreed to rendezvous at a Thai restaurant that I chose, and things were doomed for the start. I texted him when I left town to verify the location, and that’s when it started. He proceeded to text me every few minutes thereafter, even though I told him I... Continue Reading →

I have nothing to wear. Mind you, this is totally different from saying “I am wearing nothing”. The former signals desperation, while the latter suggests that I didn’t do laundry (or I’m trying to seduce you). Back to my initial statement: I’m meeting Rick tomorrow and I have nothing to wear. Do I go with... Continue Reading →

So It happened. I got stood up. I’ll wait while you collect yourselves... . . . Are you still breathing? . . Still shocked? . . . Okay, I can’t keep this shit up anymore. Gather yourself and let’s work this through... Early last week, Kurt and I planned to meet on Friday afternoon, since... Continue Reading →

Let’s just jump right into things, shall we? Tomorrow I meet Contestant #1 (formally known as Kurt). Kurt is a recently divorced real estate developer who has two kids in college. He’s 52 years young, 6’3, and enjoys working out, going to concerts and trolling for married ass on the interwebs. He’s extremely intelligent and... Continue Reading →

Newsflash: I am not the type of woman whom men stare at. Try and control your surprise, please. I don’t turn heads as I walk on by, no one is watching me with appreciative glances or lustfilled leers. At least I don’t think they do. If they ARE, they’re hiding it really well. What’s my... Continue Reading →

Mahalo, Wise Readers! Today I come to you from fair Oahu, nestled someplace in the islands of Hawaii. Not sure where, don’t much care. Today is the first day in the last three with any decent amount of sun. We arrived late Saturday after a five hour delay in Minnesota...it sucked, but at least Delta... Continue Reading →