Bear with me on this. Or, don't. It barely makes sense to me. So here’s the thing Wise Readers… I know it seems like I’m obsessed with Marlboro Man and I can see why you’d think that. After reading my last few posts I’m kinda wondering about it myself, but then I gave it some... Continue Reading →

For the love of Pete, why can’t I just leave well enough alone??? My dad once said that ‘Just because the sun shines out of your ass, that doesn’t mean it’ll warm the world”. As much as that dude makes me want to kick a toddler, he’s right. After seeing Marlboro Man at the match... Continue Reading →

I’m sad. I should be packing for Missouri right now. Gun Games are this week and I should be there, but I’m not. Why not? Thanks for asking. See, I made a complete ass of myself last year- I think I referenced that in a past post. What I neglected to mention is how, and... Continue Reading →

Blondie is driving me insane. I swear, I have never met a more needlessly insecure person in my lifetime. It’s as if that woman requires validation 24/7, or she will shrivel into a mass of quivering doubt. And the kicker? THERE’S ABSOLUTELY NO REASON FOR IT. She’s legit an amazing person. She’s funny and smart... Continue Reading →

Knock, knock. Who's there? Not John. Not John, who? Not John the lawyer, because he totally went weird on me and now we aren't talking anymore. We were doing fine... I even gave him my real phone number- can you believe it?? Things were good. He was a bit heavy with the come-ons, but ok,... Continue Reading →

So, no 'mo Joe. Big surprise, he could not keep my interest. I tried, I honestly did. I mean, the guy looked like George Clooney and Henry Rollins morphed into one person who then had sex with Angelina Jolie, who then bore a son who grew up to be this guy. It was almost shameful,... Continue Reading →

Well. I was supposed to get my tattoo finished today, but I didn't and let me tell you why. Seems I fucked up AGAIN. Me, and my big mouth. My tattoo guy and I are buddies. We don't hang out outside of the parlor, but we joke around when I'm under the needle. Your tattoo... Continue Reading →

So...I did a thing. Back in the day I was on this app, right? The one where I met THAT GUY? So I decided that maybe I should give it another shot and who knows, maybe lightening can strike twice. My profile was quick and to the point: No dudes outside of IL (which is... Continue Reading →

You're an asshole. But I should qualify the degree of asshole, as it pertains to me. Let me go back a bit... Blondie had told me a lot about you before conference and I expected a rather gnarled-looking roughneck- nothing especially special. But there you were and it was like ‘Holy shit- it’s the Marlboro... Continue Reading →

One of the reasons I'm glad I have this blog is because it's a record of my past. A reminder of both better and worse days, a cautionary tale that both slaps my wrist and reinforces my intuition during the times when I doubt myself. Whether it's, "You saw it coming and ignored it, and... Continue Reading →