Guess what? No, seriously. Guess! Never mind...you'll never get it. 🙄 I'm starting my own business!! I have a website and everything (cocoa-tree.com). I'm on twitter and Instagram too. Why am I telling you this? Because you guys have always been supportive and because I've been whining for the last ten years and I figure... Continue Reading →

You know how ambiguity drives me crazy, right? I mean, y’all have known me for some time now and you know I’m moody, quirky, weird and sometimes just plain batshit crazy. You know that I hate being late, that I abhor poor grammar and that I CAN’T STAND AMBIGUITY. Being the control freak that I... Continue Reading →

You know how sometimes, things just smack you in the face? Not literal, tangible things, but those pesky emotional things? I have surrounded myself with TAKERS. And this is a big problem for me since I am a GIVER. And I now find myself in a position of NEED. I’m the one with my hand... Continue Reading →

Let me take this opportunity to say Thank You. Thank you for showing me that everyone else takes priority- even some random thirsty bitch you just met. Thanks for making it crystal fucking clear that I’m here for your amusement, pleasure, and/or convenience. Thank you for not recognizing that I spent time getting ready tonight. That... Continue Reading →

Two posts in one week? Unheard of! But I have shit to say, so here we are. (Ahem). I’m too nice. ”Well,” you’ll say, “aren’t you being a little arrogant?” No. This is NOT a good thing. I’m not bragging about this quality. In fact, I’m pissed at myself because I seem to continue being... Continue Reading →

Love is an asshole. A dirty, putrid, festering, stinky ASSHOLE. And yet... We crave it. We seek it out and revel in it.  When it's lacking, we miss it desperately. We NEED that asshole. And some of us need it more than others. I haven't had sex in FOREVER.  In fact, I'm pretty sure that... Continue Reading →

Well, I did it. I broke things off with THAT GUY (again). See, it seemed to me that I really wasn't getting out of the relationship, what I was putting into it. He's a good guy- no doubt about it. But as my therapist says, "He can be the best damn cat in the world,... Continue Reading →

Do you remember what bliss feels like? Maybe its a common occurrence in your life- you're one of those irritatingly optimistic people who finds joy in the littlest things. Or maybe you don't experience that rush of happiness on a regular basis, but you bask in the glow when it comes around. Or maybe you're... Continue Reading →

A wise person once said "No one should have to beg for what they deserve". Do I believe that to be true? Um...trick question. What if what I feel I deserve is WAAAAY out of whack and unrealistic? Like, I shouldn't have to beg for thinner thighs, but I deserve them. Bullshit. So why bring... Continue Reading →

Sigh. It's just around the corner, isn't it? New Year's Eve- the end of one year and the beginning of a clean slate with which to fuck up your life just like you did the year before, lol. I stopped making resolutions years ago. Mainly because I never stuck to them. I went into it... Continue Reading →