I Feel Pretty, Oh so Pretty

(Originally posted 9/24/2011)

 

Confidence as it Pertains to the Ring:

I am a confident woman. I can walk into any room and probably not be the ugliest person there. The notion that I may be actually be the PRETTIEST woman is irrelevant to me. That’s the difference between arrogance and confidence. I don’t NEED to be the prettiest, sexiest, most popular or most ‘hit on’ woman. The only opinion that matters to me is the one of man I want- if HE feels and sees me that way, I’m golden. If he doesn’t, I’m still doing just fine.

If a woman appears to have a lack of self-confidence, it might be because she hesitates to express the confidence she possesses for fear of being perceived as arrogant and bitchy. I guarantee that by the end of this post, some of you will shake your heads and say, “Who does she think she is? What a stuck-up twunt!”. Those of you who feel that way are entitled and hey, by all means express that in your comments- I can take criticism as long as it’s respectful and relevant.

I know some men find me attractive, but the fact that some of these men might be representative of the lowest common denominator doesn’t give my ego a boost. Knowing that men (and women) I VALUE think I’m beautiful is a whole different story. And I value the majority of people I have had the good fortune to communicate with here in Blogville.

When it comes to women, self-deprecating behavior could be one of two things: she’s pandering for compliments from you because YOU are the man she values, or she doesn’t want you to think she’s stuck up (again, because she values you and your opinion matters). If she is anything like me, I feel safe in saying that she probably doesn’t have a low self esteem or a lack of confidence. Perhaps she is modest and unassuming- two traits that can also be seen as sexy. Simply put, I don’t ASSUME that everyone finds me attractive- I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. But instead of crying in my pillow and running to the plastic surgeon, I decided to find what I like about myself and project that forward. Yes, I have a fat ass. So what? I’m not ashamed of it- It’s a part of me and I’m really quite okay with it. When it’s clad in green and gold, I’m actually rather proud of it, lol.

Do you really believe me to be so self-deprecating and unrealistic about my worth, lol? Really?

If I was as lacking in confidence as you think I am, would I be posting pictures of my body? Nope. Would I post pics of my face? Nope. Have I ever expressed surprise that some of you find me attractive? Nope. But that doesn’t mean I expect your praise or that I am dismissive of it- every single compliment is genuinely appreciated and tucked close to my heart, and that is the truth.

Would I meet people for coffee or cocktails if I somehow felt that I might not live up to their standards- as a friend or as a Lover? Nope. There is one reason, and one reason only, that I have not ventured into a physical relationship and it doesn’t matter what that is- only that it isn’t going to change on a whim, or for less than the right man. But I don’t think it makes me any less desirable, does it? Nope.

Apply these same criteria to any woman in Blogville. She may not post as many pictures as I do, but perhaps that’s not for lack of confidence. It’s more likely that she values her privacy in different measure than I do. And if, given her life experience, level of maturity and intelligence, she cannot see all the wonderful things that YOU see, maybe they aren’t really there. Only SHE knows why she might feel unworthy, and its not your job to change her mind. If she doesn’t “get it” at this stage of her life, she’s not going to. If she doesn’t recognize her own value, how can she expect you to?

We ALL have parts of ourselves that we don’t feel good about- for me, it’s my tummy. Pop out two kids and see how tight your abs stay, lol. I hate my tummy. But I’m not above believing that someone else might not find it downright delicious.

With the RIGHT man, I don’t feel self -conscious and shy. I see myself in the reflection of his eyes and I feel sexy and beautiful. That is what fuels my need to please him. To make him hard, to make him cum, to make him MINE. If you show me that you value me, I will return the favor tenfold. But I don’t need you to show me my value. There’s a difference. If I refer to my ass as ‘fat’, it’s because I’m feeling snarky, and possibly bloated that day, lol. And my ass IS fat, but it’s still presentable- otherwise why would I present it to 200+ blog watchers and risk the wrath and ridicule of assorted strangers?

Women who truly lack self esteem are mewling, pathetic, attention-starved little whiners. Does that definition sound like me?? Nope.

So now, Fair Readers, after reading all of this crap, do you still think I don’t know my own worth, lol?

Wait! I’m so confident that I can answer that question for you  :

NOPE.