As Good as it Gets

The following post was originally written and posted on my OTHER blog, back in 2012  Stick around until the end to read my updated postscript…

I love old people. I’m hesitant to define what I consider to be ‘old’, at the risk of offending some of my Readers, but suffice it to say that I have a great appreciation for ‘people of a certain age.’

Ever listen to them tell a story? Could be about the war, gas prices, whippersnappers….whatever. Invariably, the subject comes ’round to HIM, or HER (or THEM, I suppose). And you see it…the sharp intake of breath co-mingled with a quickening ‘crunch’ as they hasten to swallow the last of their hard candy. Their eyes soften a bit, their dentured smiles gets a bit bigger, the creak of the rocking chair hits a frantic pace and they suddenly seem to almost melt back into the memory of ‘The One’.

Mind you, I’m not talking about ‘The One That Got Away’, or ‘The One That Never Was’. It’s ‘The One Who Rocked My World So Hard, I’m Still Feeling It!’. It’s the reason that retirement homes are equipped with defibrillators- trust me.

(I’m going to give you a minute to get the vision of ‘Old People Sex’ out of your heads.)

Better? Good. Because here’s where I’m going with this…

I recently realized that I haven’t yet had my ‘Affair to Remember’. I’ve had good sex. I’ve had GREAT sex. But I haven’t had the kind of sex and passion that makes the earth move and the angels sing and my toes curl (you get the idea).

Where did I come up with this shit?

Well, it seems I fulfill that memory slot for one fella from my past (that I know of, lol). And let me tell you- it’s pretty freaking flattering to hear someone thank you for being the best they ever had. But I can’t say the same thing about this particular fella…or any other fella, including Hubby. THAT GUY holds the crown for being the first (and so far, the only) man to share my uninhibited, self-actualized sexual-self (Shhh..don’t tell him I said that). There’s been a contender for ‘The Best So Far‘. And maybe even one guy who I’d say fits the ‘Could Have Been The One’ category, except I wasn’t sexually mature enough to appreciate him at that time in my life.

But when I’m old and dried up and a vat of K-Y Jelly can’t help me anymore, I don’t have that one man….that one memory of a Perfect Love Affair to make me smile. And I don’t want to die without ever having felt that kind of passion.

Tell me, Wise (and somewhat Old) Readers…Have you had it? Are you (hopefully) in the midst of it now? Or are you still waiting for it like I am?

Postscript: Since the time that the above post was written, I WAS lucky enough to have that mind-blowing sexual experience I longed for. It was well worth the wait because it was with someone special (yes, it was THAT GUY. Shaddup).

I distinctly remember emailing him after the fact to tell him that “he may not have been my FIRST, but as of today, he is my BEST”. I meant every word of that, and I still do. He has his faults (unlike me, who is perfect), but every flaw disappeared for the few hours that we spent together that day. What changed? He let his guard down and embraced the moment. I feel as though he just abandoned all pretense and let loose.

Almost as though he finally exhaled.

Since that day, the sex just got better and better. He allowed me to fulfill fantasies that even HE didn’t know he had. He allowed me the freedom to experiment and explore without judgement. I doubt I’ll ever find that again, and I don’t really wish to try and replicate it with anyone else.

Sometimes when you think it’s gotten as good as it can get, you’re okay remembering it just the way it was.