The Prettiest Prey

Newsflash: I am not the type of woman whom men stare at.

Try and control your surprise, please.

I don’t turn heads as I walk on by, no one is watching me with appreciative glances or lustfilled leers. At least I don’t think they do. If they ARE, they’re hiding it really well.

What’s my point? I’m glad you asked!

I’m sitting in the airport (my third within the last 12 hours, give or take), and of course there’s a lot of prime people-watching to be had. Women walk by, dressed in their casual travel clothing: yoga pants, T-shirt’s and maybe a light jacket. Men take a cursory glance and, if they find the subject manner worthy, it’s like feeding time around the watering hole.

He starts with her breasts as she walks toward him. Look once, look twice, move on to her face. Is she a show-stopper? If she is, he’ll smile politely and hope to catch her eye for a reciprocal grin. It’s as if he’s sending a silent plea, “Notice me noticing you! Acknowledge my gracious and gentlemanly attention- I’m not a pig!”  If she nods and smiles, Hurrah! He has managed to gain her approval. He smugly leans back in his chair and congratulates himself- he’s more evolved than other men.

Yeah, right.

As she has now passed in front of him, he’s free to fixate on her ass as she walks away. At this point, you can practically see the horns popping from his skull. He’s mentally undressing her now, visualizing, fantasizing, objectifying. If she happens to turns around and catch him, he’ll at least have the grace to look ashamed, hoping she’ll forgive him with a knowing smile. After all, this sort of things happens to her all the time.

The whole exchange takes less than two minutes- that’s all he needs to satisfy that tiny bit of ‘beast’ that he manages to hide 90% of the time.

Thing is, while I often prefer to slip under the radar, sometimes I want to be the one who makes men stop mid-conversation and forget what they’re talking about. It has happened before, but it’s not a regular occurrence. I’m pretty ordinary looking and trust me: My ass is nothing to write home about. Truth be told if I catch a man staring at me, I’m much more likely to attribute it to having toilet paper on my shoe.

Which brings me to my next point: How is it that men on Tinder/AFF seem to find me so titillating when I KNOW that, if we were in a bar, they wouldn’t notice me unless I were blocking the TV.  Or the bathroom. Or their view of tastier meat?

Apparently I’m only capable of turning virtual heads 😂. Is this because my photos are SO different from my actual appearance? Well in some cases, it is. I admit that I sometimes use filters to brighten backgrounds or erase a blemish or two (or ten). I might add a smidge of eyeliner and erase the bags under my eyes. But beyond that, I’m pretty true to life. There ARE apps available that will go so far as to widen my eyes, narrow my nose, change the contours of my face, retouch my hair color and length…the list goes on and on. Why don’t I use them?

Why WOULD I?

Whats the point in changing my appearance to the the point where no one would recognize me?? At least the edits I DO perform are viable changes. Adding eyeliner is not disingenuous, lol.

But back to my original premise, which was…

Shit, I have no idea. I was distracted when I saw my reflection in the stainless steel bathroom sink and lost my train of thought. 😂