Oops, I Did it Again

Hola, Wise Readers!

I know, it’s been a few weeks since I regaled you with my presence. In that time, I managed to accomplish sweet Mary fuck all, but I’m still alive so there’s that.

This time of year always makes me a bit squirrelly. It’s on the cusp of summer but it seems that this year, no one gave Mother Nature the memo. On the approximately three days a week that it doesn’t rain, I’ve been managing to clean some crap from the hovel I reside in so I don’t look like the next guest star on Hoarders.

Here in Pretentious Estates and the surrounding county, we have several Facebook pages dedicated to selling sundry items to other people who also have too much crap. I’ve been posting my stuff there and I’ve had pretty good luck. I noticed that many of the ads were dry and lifeless. How was I to get peoples attention while keeping my clothes on??

Here’s how:

See? My sense of humor extends beyond whining about my love life.

Anyhoo…I’ve managed to rid myself of the aforementioned candelabra plus several other decorative elements, a George Foreman grill, a knife sharpener…the list goes on and on. And in addition to pawning off my junk, I’ve also acquired a fan club of some sort.

That’s right, Wise Readers: I’m famous (in small circles that include other housewives and the occasional lonely shut-in of questionable gender). My posts are now eagerly awaited instead of abjectly ignored!

…And those are just the beginning. There are literally TENS more! Thank goodness I’m humble, or those hard earned, well-deserved compliments might inflate my tenuous ego. 😂

I had several folks inquire as to whether I had a blog (or if I’ve written a book) and let’s face it, I can’t show them THIS blog. I mean, I’m not ashamed of you guys or anything, it’s just that the stuff I write is a bit TOO personal to make it available to people who live within a 500 mile radius, ya know?

So yeah, I have a new blog.

I’m going to continue with this one, mainly because you guys are privy to my deepest secrets and I trust you. Y’all are more than welcome to follow the NEW blog if you want, but keep the comments clean, m’kay?

After all, I don’t need the general public knowing what a hot mess my life is, amirite? They wouldn’t believe it anyway- to THEM, I am a GODDESS 😂.

To find the new piece of crap, head over to ForeverInMomJeans.blog. I look forward to seeing you there.

Wipe your feet before you enter.